Around the Neighborhood

Over the past few weeks I have been collecting a series of actual things and personal impressions from our environment, all so I can share them with you. These are all things we encounter everyday, and find them noteworthy enough to point them out.

1. Arab Google. I love it. Go visit http://www.google.ae/ and you will see what I mean. How cool is it to type your search command in from right to left?

2. Arabic Blogger Log-in. Yes, for this very site, we have learned how to log in in arabic. Not by choice, but because when the page opens here, the dashboard is in arabic, making it somewhat difficult to find the button for switching to english. Since it is fairly obvious which boxes are for the username and password, we just go for it and it seems to be working!

3. Censorship. Yes, the web is censored here. Some restriction does not bother me: i.e. pornography. But come on--can't we have some free music and videos? And don't you think a little pornography might help assuage the problem at the beaches where men go in hoards and just stand there looking at the sunbathers in their swimsuits?

4. Lebanese Music Videos. How to find the words. Imagine a hip-hop video, but multiply the sexual suggestiveness factor by about 100, and you will have the Lebanese music video. Except the zoom-ins on female body parts are not onto nicely lipoed butts and other, no. We are talking full-on cellulite. Normally I would think, how cool! They take women as they are! But actually, when you are at the gym working away at your own lumpy parts, it is rather disgusting to see another woman shaking hers right in the camera, right in front of you on the ellyptical trainer. Yuck. Especially when combined with over-executed coquettishness and other simpering female behavior. I know some of these things are culturally bound, and thus difficult to understand. But I swear, these videos make Beyonce look like a choir girl. And further, considering number 3 above, the whole thing is slightly hypocritical.

5. The FIDC Lifestyle. I work in the "first purpose-built business center in Dobby". Yes, on entering my building complex, which was specifically designed as the principal financial center (with its own courts), stock exchange, and capital market center for Dobby, your first impression will likely be WOW. Swanky. The halls are lined in black marble, classical music is playing, and everyone is wearing a suit.

Of course, entering the building is dependant on getting to the building, and for a "purpose-built business center" you would think the exterior would be well thought out too. But no, not if you approach the building on foot. By car you are fine (if you are lucky enough to have a parking spot). But on foot you are screwed, because the one thing left out of this "purpose-built" fantasy land are crosswalks. And the entire place is surrounded by roads.

Since I walk to work from Harry's office parking across the street, I face this problem everyday (as do many other business people I have noticed walking as well). I have to cross four two lane roads to get to the FIDC. Seems like it should not be a problem. Sadly, it is, for me and others, because cars here are not only pedestrian un-friendly, they are actually pedestrian-aggressive. Drivers will speed up when they see you in the road, rather than slow down and let you pass. The result of this mess is nicely clad business people, in suits with briefcases, are all doing these weird little hop-scurry-leap dances across the roads to get to the FIDC every morning without getting smashed by a Range Rover or Porsche Cayenne. It's hilarious. And severly pissing off (since I am one of these people). And basically, another one of those Dobby situations of "what the f*&*^ were they thinking when they built this mother-*&^*%er?.

6. Working Girls. And I don't mean lawyers like me. I mean expensive female prostitutes that are shipped in directly to some of the five star hotels from their resepctive countries of origin by the hotel-owners (usually some Sheikh). It is really disturbing, but for several reasons. First, how sad, these women have so few choices in life that this one is actually viable. Second, how intimidating! These women are so perfectly put together, tall, thin, young, expensive, and seemingly perfect that being a normal woman, working long hours in some form or fashion, all of a sudden seems really frumpy and unattractive. Which brings me to point three: How irritating! What a mockery of femininity. These women create an illusion that is is normal to be six feet tall (thanks to the shoes), 100 pounds, well enhanced, and always excessively made up and put together in designer brands. If this is what men believe a woman is supposed to be, sorry ladies, those of you unattached (and some that are) are basically screwed. It is a little like being surrounded by models and modelizers...... The problem is, you can't go out to the nice bars and resturants without being surrounded by them.

And this ironically brings me to closing with:

7. The Burkini. Brilliant. If you can't tell by the name, this is a swim/athletic suit designed for "conservative" women. In other words, women who are not supposed to show skin, or just don't want to, can wear this top and pants outfit (with an attached head covering that looks like a swim cap) for swimming, running, sports, etc. It is made out of special sports fabric, can be worn in the water, and while form-fitting, it is not tight by any strectch of the imaginiation. I may sound sarcastic while writing this, but actually, I think it is great. Many Muslim women don't do sports because they don't want to be immodest (one reason all the gyms here have a seperate little gym for ladies only). But this is not good for health at all, so having sportswear that gives these women (and burn victims, or others who don't want to bare all) a comfort zone is fabulicious. Check it out on google. You could even try google.ae!